April 05, 2006

This is the first in the series of stories about "Lonely People" and probably the best i have ever written. This is dedicated to a special friend of mine, whose birthday is coming up....

The Last Moon
The mail had come early that day. Expecting the usual bills, Aryan picked up the letters, but today there was also something else. It was a card, an invitation card , for the marriage of his friend Neha with Deepak. Of course, Neha had told him about this, but then it seemed like an unknown and uncertain event in the future, but now holding the card in his hand, it suddenly dawned on him that the girl he himself wanted to marry was getting married to someone else.
Aryan and Neha had been friends since childhood. They grew up together, going to the same school, being in the same circle of friends, going to the same parties, and hanging out at the same joints. Their parents were close friends and so they also used to go to family trips together. But curiously their interests were poles apart, one was into rock, the other into folk and country music. While Neha was the social animal, Aryan was the introvert kind. Food, clothes, TV shows, it seemed they could not disagree more. However this seemingly incompatibility, only brought them closer. And somehow, Aryan fell in love with her.
As he put down the card, memories came flooding back to him. How, when they were studying together for boards, she had said, ‘Aryan, you are not concentrating. Is something wrong?’ He should have told her then and there. After Boards, one day when they were sitting on the terrace looking at the moonlight night and she had asked, ‘you are thinking about something?’, he should have told what he was thinking. The farewell party, the day she went away to college, he had his chances, but he didn’t say a word. And they drifted away, in the flood of their respective careers and life.
He reached Neha’s house on the day before the marriage. Having met all the members of household, some of which he never knew existed, he got into a festive mood. After all his best friend was getting married, and he was happy for her. That night feeling sleepless, he went up to the terrace. Neha was standing there, all alone. “ You should be in bed now. You have got a big day tomorrow,” said he. Turning around she said, “I was not getting sleep, how come you are here?” “Same reason as yours, at last we agree on something. I thought I will never see the day,” he said. “Do you remember what you said the day before I was to leave for college?” she asked. He nodded his head. ‘how could he forget’. “I was upset at having to live without you and that day right here you had said that, ‘Neha, we will always be together because wherever we go the same moon will shine on us. So whenever you think of me, just look at the moon and we will feel each other closer.” tears were rolling down her cheeks as she said this. He could not think of anything to say. She continued, “ Do you know how often I looked at the moon…………… Everyday.” He was startled. She said “ you look surprised, I always loved you. But just never had the courage to tell you this, I don’t know why I am telling you all this…” Before she could finish, he rushed downstairs. When she went to his room, he was crying. She could tell he was in deep pain. He was packing. “You are leaving?” she asked. “Yes”. “ So you loved me too”. “ Who told you that?” “But you are crying.” “Well, my aunt had a massive heart attack, so I have to leave immediately. Convey my regards to your family.” He had finished his packing. As he was walking away, she called “ Aryan…….. so you did not love me.” He could not face her, without turning he said “ No.” and walked away.
It was one fine Sunday morning, 25 years after the events described above, that Aryan was telling me all this. “So that’s the reason why you are still a bachelor.” I asked. Aryan was silent, probably still lost in his thoughts. “Don’t you feel lonely?” I could not stop myself asking. “Well, I do feel lonely at times, but then I look up to the sky”, there was a pause, “after all the same moon still shines on both of us”.
The next story in line will be uploaded soon. the previous disclaimer stands.....

46 Comments:

At 10:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"lonely people" ...lol...i nvr tht u were d "lonely" type.....anywyz nice stuff... btw for ur sake...i sincerly hope it ain autobiographical ...no "neha" in ur life naa!!

u knw wht...i used 2 blog.....did it for over two fkin years! had like 195 posts n all..nthin much...just some random ramblings.....but dunno wht came 2 me..n i deleted it all! plan 2 start again...

keep bloggin....wll luk out for more 4 u

 
At 10:17 AM, Blogger ARK said...

beware while posting stories. u won't have cpoyright over it :-)

 
At 12:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went through the tragic story you wrote... n i sincerely hope its not a case relating to you..:)
As for the story ,more often than you can realise..its the lack on the part of the persons involved that such things happen and things which could be blissful end in heart breaks.
But for real love to exist one must first understand its true meaning ... then he/she must estimate the degree of intensity of his/her feelings i.e. is it love or jst infatuation...n then his level of commitment..which he is ready to put in...
If he/she can justify him.her self then he should be afraid to speak out else the result is as u mentioned a chatic situation..
This i wrote coz i feel that love is one feelin which is misunderstood as a desire..or lust, .. Love is not about gettin sm1 but givin urself to her/him...
N the lonely factor is not the soluto to this ..life is like a river flowin eternally ..u cant stop if things went berserk...
I feel rather than sulkin for her beloved the guy should have carried on with his life n not regret it..more so ..if u think practically..he shud have kept his feelings to himself..if he had kept them for so long...the situaton which u describe as " moon still shines on both of us " is actually a miserable state for the grl as well as the guy...the grl will never eb able o njoy her marital life n the guy as said remains bache..throughout leadin an ascetic's life...
do write bk wht do u think...

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Jite said...

hi it was me last one..
jite..i dont know why blogspot didnt like my name :)

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger abhimir said...

first of all to clarify a point... it does not relate to any of my real life experiences as a whole.
it is work of fiction and it is based on many of the things that people face in love. it is basically about the need for us to tell the people we love, that we love them. too many, relationships do not materialise because the people do not have courage to say what they feel.
i agree that life is like a flowing river and we cannot stop living our life if our love is not requitted. but Aryan is not like others, he is different so he behaves differently.. maybe negatively... but it seems right to him..
i appreciate ur taking time out to write so much... it really makes the trouble of doing all this worthwhile... do keep checking the blog... it will be uploaded soon with a new story..

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Deepak said...

abhinav...ur story really really sucks!!! for once, i felt i had kuch kuch hota hai written in words all over my monitor...anyways..u r a good writer...but then good writers realise soon they are not writing the right stuff...

 
At 11:12 PM, Blogger nightcrawler said...

Alrite so here we have our new blogger...
Well the story was fine but the you used the phrase "looking at the moon" a lot no. of times.
I dont think anyone(i mean anyone) ever looks at moon to realise he is near to his love.
But yes it was quiet a sentimental story. Keep it up and mey be u could get beeter creativity.

 
At 7:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

way to go abhinav. but please put a story with a happy ending next time around.. ywith the ts coming around, we have more than enough reasons to feel low.. keep those stories coming and as arjun said copyright them. he would know a thing or two about that(the ipr course)...

 
At 9:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmmmm well i have read this story before also and i had commented on that...but ya at that time neither u told me nor did i think about relating this story to people who are lonely...nice idea though...but i think the story is more apt for something like The eternal love stories...and moreover i dont think that aryan is lonely as he himself says that the same moon shines....but ya the story is damn senti...emotional...romantic.

 
At 3:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well that's a pretty good one from u,but really man sad endings really piss me off these days.so next time around do try to make it a happy ending(not one's like n they lived happily ever after,these topics on love n all that crap really suck).expecting something different from u.

 
At 4:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's when i can say that this is from sarangi
its awesome
lonely people thing is right on the target.
i knw this not ur xperience,but then such things are seen or felt somewhere deep inside!
good work dude
keep it up

 
At 7:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think ur blogs will be a must-read for me. lonely people.....nice topic. i`m impressed by whatever u`ve written. but a word of caution: try mixing ur blogs. as in, do drift from ur "lonely people" stuff. or else it`ll become a bit too mundane. i hope u post ur blogs regularly. i`m looking forward to it.

 
At 3:19 AM, Blogger abhimir said...

@badgirl...
first of all, i take full responsiblity for my mistake... afterall i am new...
regarding taking criticism positively... u r not the first one to criticise the story... wat upset me was the fact that u were judging the story after reading the first few lines only...
anyways i apologize 4 the way i reacted...
hoping that i may be forgiven... n yes ur criticism for my next post, which will come out soon, will be eagerly accepted..

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Venkatesh Nandakumar said...

Hey, i've read the story somewhere else, either in kshitij or watchout, or something, are you the same writer?...

the story is good..

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger Himanshu said...

Dear Abhimir,

Lots of praise, some criticism too. Now here's a realistic view.

Yes, the story is a tragic one, but probably Aryan should have reacted much earlier[I think you'll agree too]
And not all things in life have a happy ending! But you have written nicely, that's what I feel, although I am no one to comment. Regarding your handling of the criticisms, I must say you have taken it very well. It requires a stable mind to produce such stories and handle critics too[some really hash ones].
Kudos!

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At 10:13 PM, Blogger Raven said...

Nice work Abhimir , brought bak memories of a praticular person i knew from almost an another life. Now as i sit and think about her it seems all the same more alien to me .

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger abhimir said...

@Vidushi
your comment is gratefully accepted... will take care to not repeat the same mistakes in the novel that i m writin...

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger Syed Rishad said...

Hi this is Rishad. Your story is a fiction but my life is real , my loneliness is real , my sadness is real, my pain is real, my dejection is real.
I am a very lonely n a sad soul, whom no one understands.
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are you too lonely...

 
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